"But the water's shallow here, and I am full of fear"

When I decided to write about fear, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  Who am I to write about one of the deepest, most powerful parts of the human experience, something that has crippled all of us at one time or another, pulling us to our knees, or sending us running into someone else’s arms?  I have found the process of describing and analyzing fear much like attempting to look at a star.  When you stare directly at it, the light fades and you can barely see it anymore; only if you look next to the star does it shines brilliantly, but in your peripheral vision. Or, perhaps it is like looking at the sun, which is impossible with the naked eye, and so you must settle for seeing its effect on everything around you in the daylight.  Unable to lay bare the mysteries of fear and anxiety through my own analysis, I have instead compiled a few examples.

The Literary Example:

In Mary Shelley’s masterpiece Frankenstein (which I somehow managed to avoid reading until this semester) the monster makes this declaration to Victor Frankenstein: “For I am fearless, and therefore powerful.”  Nothing Victor does can dissuade the monster from his goal, because he has nothing to fear—he has nothing to lose.

The absence of fear gives power; the presence of fear creates weakness.

The Film Example:

The Oscar-nominated film from 2012, The Impossible shows ordinary people suffering incredible trauma, and it celebrates the tenacity of the human spirit.  Tragedy seems to bring out the best or the worst in people.  In a scene near the beginning of the film, Maria (Naomi Watts) and her son Lucas (Tom Holland) have survived the initial wave of destruction.  They hear a child crying somewhere nearby, and though Lucas tries to convince his mother to continue looking for help (since her own wounds are substantial), she insists “We have to help that child, if it’s the last thing we do.”     

At another point when the two have a moment of respite in the midst of the traumatic events, Lucas says, trembling, "Mom, I'm scared."  She responds in a whisper, "I'm scared too."

Maria’s recognition that the life of one child is worth sacrificing her physical safety for, perhaps even worth dying for, is the first of many powerful scenes in the film.  She and Lucas bond through an attempt to help the sufferers around them, and they bond through sharing their fear with each other.

The honest admission of weakness brings comfort.

The Television Example:

In the pilot episode of the TV series LOST, one of the characters (Kate) stitches up a wound on another’s (Jack) back as he tells her story to distract her from the unsettling task.  Jack Shephard is a spinal surgeon, and during his first solo surgery he accidentally sliced open some of the patient’s spinal tissue.  As panic began to set in, Jack says, “I just made a choice.  I’d let the fear in—let it take over, let it do its thing—but only for five seconds; that was all I was gonna give it.  So I started to count.  One, two, three, four, five.  And it was gone.  I went back to work, sewed her up, and she was fine.”

I remember feeling incredulous when I watched that scene for the first time in 2006.  But, if you read a bit of history and pay attention to the news (and even the lives of your neighbors), you will see that there are people who overcome impossible situations every day. 

People can fight against fear and win.

The Inspirational Speaker Example:

Lee Baca, the head of the LA County Sheriff’s Dept., spoke at a conference at CGU a few weeks ago.  He told some stories about his past, one of which involved registering for the draft during the Vietnam War.  He said he decided that if he were potentially going into battle he wanted to be surrounded by the strongest, bravest people he could find.  So, he enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps. 

Baca said one of the most terrifying moments of boot camp was climbing up and over a four-story-high wall made of logs (because he had an intense fear of heights). 

“Do you think my fear went away before I climbed it?” he asked.  “Do you think it went away while I was climbing?  Do you think it went away when I had finished and was standing on the other side?”

“Hell no,” he answered himself, “But when there’s someone climbing right behind you and another climbing in front of you, you can’t stop.  You take your fears with you,” he said.

Feelings of inadequacy, of the inability to cope with a situation, will not always disappear with Jack’s five count.  But, seeing another person go through the same frightening situation can push us to take our fears with us and to climb anyway.

When fear will not leave us, the presence of another person can bring us through it.

The Real-Life Loss Example(s):          

Joan Didion wrote a memoir called The Year of Magical Thinking (2005) about the year after her husband died.  In it she said this: “Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it.  We anticipate (we know) that someone close to us could die, but we do not look beyond the few days or weeks that immediately follow such an imagined death…We might expect if the death is sudden to feel shock.  We do not expect this shock to be obliterative, dislocating to both body and mind.  We might expect that we will be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss.  We do not expect to be literally crazy, cool customers who believe their husband is about to return and need his shoes.”

One of my aunts keeps in touch with a young woman, Jackie* who lived at her house recently while raising money to move to another country as a missionary.  Now that she’s overseas, Jackie has miraculously found an American friend who is almost exactly her age.  This young woman, Becca,* was living in another country with her new husband until one day, on his way home from work, he was hit by a bus and killed. 

Now, months after her husband’s death, Becca is living in the house next-door to Jackie.  Some mornings, Jackie wakes up early, hearing a knock at her door.  Becca is sitting on the steps, still in her pajamas, sobbing.  She woke up that morning thinking her husband was still in bed with her, and she was forced to confront her loss again.

Working through the fear intertwined with loss takes longer than we can imagine; we look back and wonder where we found the courage to continue.  

Mother Theresa said that if God had told her the whole plan from the beginning, she would never have been brave enough to take the first step. 

Oswald Chambers writes that God does not give us overcoming life, he gives us life as we overcome.  We are healed as we stand up, as we stretch out our hands, as we respond to his call, “Arise from the dead.”

The Mom example:

I remember going through a phase in middle school during which I often worried about my siblings’ safety for no specific reason.  I remember asking my mother how she could go through the day and night without being afraid for her children.  How she could possibly know that her five children were out and about, encountering all sorts of situations that could potentially be dangerous?  She said, “How could I go through life constantly worrying about what might go wrong?”

Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough trouble of its own--Jesus

(Some of ) The College Student Examples:
Last semester, a few of my friends and I decided we would try to change our language about anxiety.  In our conversations, instead of saying, “I’m worried about...” we would say, “I’m not trusting God about…” If I said the word “worry,” a friend would immediately correct me, “You mean ‘not trusting God?’”  The reason we did this was not to try to annoy each other or feel superior.  We did it to deliberately increase our awareness of how often we were giving in to fear. 

In an administrative office at my university, a young woman sat at a table with two administrators as they discussed an account of grievances she had written.  One of the men read aloud, “…Struggled with anxiety and depression in the past.”  He looked up at her, shrugged, and said, “Welcome to adult life.”

Does the pronouncement sit well with you?   

Is a state of anxiety simply part of our existence we must accept? 

Donald Miller points out in his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years that “do not fear” is the most frequent command given in the Bible. He interprets this as meaning two things: 1) We are going to be afraid, and 2) We should not let fear “boss us around.”  Fear is sometimes an invaluable biological defense that saves us from harm, but we should not let it rule our lives. 

The indecisiveness and anxiety I’ve noticed in my own life over the past few years have forced me to confront the fact that I am a fearful, worrying human.  And yet, reading Donald Miller’s words reminded me that I am supposed to be fighting fear, not just accepting it as a governing force in my life.   

I am not writing "The Bible Example," because the topic of fear in the Bible requires more space (it has filled many books, and will doubtless fill many more).  But, along with Donald Miller, I read a lot of 1 Peter, and it has a few things to say about overcoming fear.

“Therefore, prepare your minds for action; discipline yourself; set all your hope on the grace that Jesus Christ will bring you when he is revealed.”—1:13

“You have become her [Sarah, Abraham’s wife, an esteemed holy woman] daughters as long as you do what is good and never let fears alarm you.”—3:6

“Do not fear what they fear, and do not be intimidated”—3:14b

“Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same intention”—4:1

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that is taking place among you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.”—4:12

Over and over, throughout 1 Peter, the message is this: "Why are you surprised that life is difficult?  Fight against fear, and trust in God."  Peter also constantly reminds his readers who they are, writing descriptions ranging from cherished children, people receiving mercy, stones building a temple, those possessing an invaluable gift, and servants of a savior who suffered in the same way they suffer.

In the end, Peter writes this famous line:                                                                                           “Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.”—5:7

Jesus said, “Do not worry.”  He said not to worry about the everyday anxieties of food, clothing, and tomorrow, and he said not to worry about what might happen if you are arrested unjustly. 

John writes, “God is love,” and later, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”—1 John 4:8b, 18a

I wonder how much of our fear stems from misunderstanding who we are? 
How much stems from misunderstanding who God is?

Many thanks for indulging my musings on this enormous topic.  

*names changed for privacy reasons